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                主頁 > 經典文章 > 情感話題 > 媽媽 對不起

                媽媽 對不起

                2010-05-06 17:14 作者:纞纞葒塵 來源: 已有位網友閱讀 【查看評論
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                本文TAG:演繹 暗戀 設計師 短暫

                媽媽,請原諒。從記事起,我心里就墜著一種莫明的困惑,這困惑驚擾著我的少年時代,雖早已釋懷,但我對因此而橫梗于您我間的隔閡與疏離的歲月充滿了歉意,那些日子,我沖撞您,添堵您,曾不止一次地質問:我是不是....的寶貝,您一次地溫和地解釋,然而,這更加莫明地,加重我的憂心忡忡,以至于無知的我,在很多次因胡攪蠻纏而聆聽您的諄諄教誨時,報以了冷漠、無畏的目光,我深知,那目光,能剌穿您的心。


                媽媽,請原諒。在沒有遇到一些事之前,我一直都沒有認真地讀懂過您,一直都不知道,忍讓,是您一生中最偉大的性格。我一直以為我小時候干的那些小壞事,撒的一些小謊兒能瞞天過海,隱您慧眼。因為不滿于您的嚴厲,在每次被要求寫完一百道算術題后,我折斷和摔壞過每一支鉛筆;因為不想聽您的教誨,在與同學鬧別扭時,將同學的書包扔進臭水溝而矢口否認;因為妒忌姐姐哥哥的膩愛,在與姐姐哥哥發生摩擦時,我害他們無辜被您打罵若干次……但當您每每輕描淡寫地提及諸多小事,我妄自以為:我勝利了。其實,是您用寬容裹住了我所有的無知。
                                
                媽媽,請原諒

                媽媽,請原諒。和天下母親一樣,您日夜操勞,無怨無悔,艱辛折磨著您,你痛,你苦,你累,以至于迫將一個堅強、聰慧、追求完美的您在人生觀上有所偏離,一些問題,比如:您對姐姐的愛情觀,媽媽,請原諒我的沉默,雖然,我明白,這種沉默是一種殘忍,困擾著您,也撕裂著我,但是,媽媽,我該怎么辦?敬重與叛逆,道德與世俗,理智與渾沌頃刻間潮水般涌進您我罅隙,匯成一條痛苦的河……爭執,只會更添傷懷,除了沉默,我還能做些什么……


                媽媽,請原諒。這些年,雖然,我最大努力聽從你的話,但是,我卻犯下了不可饒恕的錯,讓您背負了那么多的指責那么多的債,如此,在您身體欠佳時,除了空中傳話,卻無法扶您看一次病,喂一口湯……媽媽,您知道嗎?當您告訴我,您長了第一根白發時,我淚如雨下,那根白發,沉重地劃破了歲月,它預示,那個曾經年輕的女子,燦爛青春辭幕,還有多少歲月可以重來……如果可以,我愿意用我的歲月去換取您的白發。

                媽媽,請原諒。我還有千言萬語,可我的筆尖在哽咽……,千里之外,遞不上康乃馨,也握不到您蒼涼的手,但愿您能真切地聽到我捎上一句:媽媽,請——原——諒!

                            我永遠愛您,我的媽媽.





                輕輕地我轉身,輕輕地,我再轉身。

                這些日子陪伴我的一直淚水和悔恨,每天晚上我都抱著自己殘缺的心,望著天花板一點一點的收拾起自己破碎的心情,慢慢垂死在黑暗的夜里。不知道明天的陽光。

                一直以來我都以為自己是放得下的,一直以為自己的決定是對的,沒想到卻是一錯再錯,直到錯誤已經碰撞到我的傷口,我才知道疼;才知道原來那些快樂和幻想是讓自己心碎的證明,聽著那一聲聲的心碎聲,后悔和自責直涌上心頭。

                好多好多的事情是沒辦法解釋的,更沒辦法理解的。人在失去理智的情況下做的事是那樣的出人意料。是命運的安排嗎?當我開始擁有快樂,痛苦也隨之而來。我彷徨,痛苦,害怕;對什么都失去了希望,失去了信心,失去了擁有快樂。我開始害怕,心里一直很不安,在那漆黑的夜里,事情一點一點的被揭露出來,而我一步一步的接近滅亡。   

                早晨,一直習慣醒不來。也許只有在那明亮的光線,溫暖的陽光下,我才睡的安穩、睡得安心。才不被噩夢嚇醒。望著自己浮腫的眼睛,我不知道我是怎么走過來的。

                        這什么都不是,是我對自己的懲罰!

                            -------------------

                                  哭了,痛了


                我突然想逃離自己,去一個很遠的地方,尋找真正的自己, 不在為了誰而死心踏地,也不在為了誰而停留。

                                    有


                時覺得自己真是好孤單,我知道自己是不該對他有期望的,只有靜靜的走開,心也一直就這樣疼著

                                    疼著。


                生疼生疼的,我想總有一天我就不疼了吧!如果這是我愛你最好的距離,這是我的宿命,我亦將自己

                                    的命。


                運付諸紅塵,任其擺布,又怎能奢望?只換的心底沉沉心傷。


                  
                每天我笑著笑著,笑著與你打招呼,笑著掩飾內心的慘痛,笑著笑著眼淚就不自覺的落下,笑著

                                    笑著。


                就知道自己終要放棄,終要 一個人走,心終是碎的那么不留痕跡。在你面前,我終是那個孤獨的

                                    陀螺,


                想逃了,生命里彼此交錯劃出的光輝徹底的在瞬間隕暗。


                            風,寒風,輕嘯著的寒風。

                        靜靜的坐在zhe,看著窗外的風和雨。  
                風雖不大,但其寒冷足以畏人;雨雖不大,但其點點足以傷人!  


                雨點擊打到地面,濺起一股煙塵,便立刻被水氣所包圍,轉眼又重新跌落到地面,相擁在一起,輕輕的哭


                                    泣……  
                  

                往事與將來,希望與現實心情還是很差,莫名的差。
                時間還是流逝,而我的思念卻已經停留在那一刻,那短暫的永恒!  
                面對著現實中的種種原因和無奈,我不知道將來會怎么樣。也許注定,今生我們只能成為彼此的回憶…

                                    …  


                “我想你了”在手機上輸入了這句輸入過無數次的話,卻不敢發送過去……  
                  希望與將來或多或少存在著一些差距,但此刻,我知道什么才值得珍惜!至少我有那樣一條條一起牽著  
                                “我真的想你了”  
                  還是不敢發送.又一條短消息"我是真的想你了"還是一樣,不敢發送……  


                      

                原來,對你的思念已經成為了一種習慣……

                責任編輯:纞纞葒塵
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